this clip is only one and a half minutes but manages to fit so many hard-hitting goofs
We have underestimated the comedic genius of the elderly when presented with technology
grossly underestimated
I FUCKING LOST MY SHIT AT WORK
3tno:
how many synonyms for “penis” do I actually know?
and how many of those synonyms am I actually willing to use
tier 1 (most accepted, considered sexy): cock, dick
tier 2 (generally accepted): length, manhood, member, shaft
tier 3 (clinical, too formal, but not cheesy): groin, penis, phallus
tier 4 (cheesy, barely acceptable): [insert name] Jr., dong, junk, knob, prick, rod, tool, wand, wood
tier 5 (ridiculous, unacceptable, pls don’t): anything to do with beer cans, baby-maker, bishop, choad, donger, dragon, fuck wand, fun stick, hog, johnson, jimmy, lap rocket, little [insert name], love muscle/rod/stick, meat stick, one-eyed [anything], piston, private eye, schlong, trouser snake, wiener, winkie
tier 6 (you’re literally a fourth grader): baby arm, baloney pony, beaver basher, beef whistle, custard launcher, dude piston, flesh flute, heat-seeking moisture missile, krull the warrior king, luigi, mayo shooting hotdog gun, meter long king kong dong, pig skin bus, piss weasle, purple-headed yogurt flinger, purple-helmeted warrior of love, schlong dongadoodle, single barreled pump action bollock, spawn hammer, steamin’ semen truck, tan banana, thundersword, wang doodle, whoopie stick, wing wang doodle, yogurt shotgun
tier 3 (clinical,
too formal, but not cheesy):
groin, penis, phallus
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
the “gays” (my mutuals) on twitter are going wild over this tiktok. and uh. yeah
I will slip through the space between your cells and enter your body and I won’t be identified as a threat because I’m making out with your white blood cells (I call them babygirl) then when you least expect it I crawl into your brain and then I freak it
I made this post about myself but I accidentally perfectly described how the rabies virus works
every moment of every day i am thinking about this tiktok
Lumpfish come in a variety of shapes and colors.
[He scoops up the fish, it spits water and he turns it toward the camera]
This one is stumpy and green. Very beautiful, very powerful.
[He picks up another fish and turns it toward the camera]
This is what a normal lumpfish looks like. It is more elongated, but still a vibrant blue color. Very beautiful, very powerful.
[He picks up another fish and turns it toward the camera]
This is one of the stumpiest ones we have. Its hump is very high. It is very stumpy, but yet very beautiful, and very powerful.
[He pans over a lot of fish, all looking up at the camera]
My fish army is ever growing, and soon I will over throw the world. Very beautiful, very powerful.
because of this tiktok, i frequently murmur “very beautiful, very powerful” at myself, and i cannot recommend it enough.
